We might all be asked from time to time, “Got plans?”
Here at La Grimm Ranchero, I have been conditioned to have no plans that cannot be changed at a moment’s notice. As married life takes me into what I consider my “twilight” years, the missus keeps me in the twilight, as I’m trying to figure out what I’m doing and where I’m going. She tells me what she has planned for us or for her, and whatever plans I may have previously entertained are merely a passing fancy.
Amazingly, whenever I ask her where she wants to go or what she wants to do, she responds, “You decide.” Evidently, it’s a type of cat and mouse game, as I suggest a place or an idea, one after another, until she has worn me down to where I’ll just go anywhere or do anything.
As I stated a few weeks ago, seven years ago we moved to Wilson County, Texas, and we knew no one. Our children and grandchildren were 1,400 miles in opposite directions, so it was just us two. Then, forcing myself to shed any resemblance of shyness, I began this column, sharing on Facebook, using smoke signals, and getting involved in the area. The result is that we feel like we are home. Even though our own children and grandchildren are so far away, we have been adopted by a few young families. This allows us to be “grandparents” to their children, as the parents are, like us, having additional kids. Some of the communication the missus seems to keep close to her like a poker hand; when she reveals her cards, she takes me for everything.
Case in point: Not long ago we were to be present for Home Schooling Student Presentations on Friday and Saturday evenings. For some reason, she required us to leave at an earlier time to arrive 20 minutes before the actual start time. As we got halfway there, she announced she was getting a headache because she hadn’t eaten. (She told me to eat, but she chose not to).
Anyway, her announcement of pending death by migraine — that coulda been thwarted, had she eaten along with me (of course, I did not point out this flawed self-care) — provided me the opportunity to show that I had not forgotten my vow “… for better, for worse … .” I figured that, since we had extra time, I’d swing by a fast-food joint and grab her something. This extra five-mile detour out of our way allowed us just enough time to see two fast-food places with long, bumper-to-bumper lines of cars in the drive-throughs, which, of course, used up the “early arriving time.”
The missus abruptly announced that she could wait and that we needed to get to where we were supposed to be. Once we arrived, there was a humongous feast waiting for all to enjoy before the night’s festivities.
The next night was the finale, with us arriving on time and sufficiently fed. This night, the children’s program was in full swing when another of our “grandchildren,” a 2-and-a-half-year-old, came to me and took over my smart watch and my lap and finagled me into relinquishing my iPhone to her control.
The toddler held this smart phone with absolutely no problem in her little hands and proceeded to dual thumb write. I am sure her text will be perfected as she matures to give orders and take over the world. I do not know what she wrote, but I am positive it is some type of edict. She typed,
Something tells me this little girl is going to be making plans for some young guy and she’s practicing on me! At least I think that is Grandma Debie’s plan.
Warning: These musings may be serious or may be humorous. Enjoy! H.R. Grimm is a self-described lovable, prone to blunt, witty, tending toward sarcastic, saved-by-grace, constantly thinking storyteller. Grimm, a military veteran, and his wife now call La Vernia home. Email email@example.com.