If she’d just realize that I am right

Most of us have had experiences that we easily remember the rest of our lives. Life offers many opportunities to learn that some issues in life take special skills, honed training, keen insights, etc. We know that to accomplish that which we are determined to tackle requires us to plan accordingly. It is because of this truth in living, a number of us have learned to dance to the music, so to speak, as we have locked in battle to emerge as the victor in this struggle for survival of the fittest.

Then again, more often than we may want to admit, we’ve learned that it is just easier to ask for forgiveness than permission and then try to get others to agree with us. You know, like politicians.

Well, here at La Grimm Ranchero Interacciónes Amorosas (Loving Interactions), we have indeed learned to dance, to laugh, to love … to dive, dodge, duck, weave, and execute some impressive footwork sidestepping many near-death experiences.

Now, don’t misunderstand, we are not avoiding anything! We’ve just learned that meeting life’s challenges head-on is, well, kinda like we’ve all come to realize that any train wreck is our own fault.

Not that I’m taking all the blame, nor am I projecting all the blame on my beloved, beautiful, battle-seasoned spouse. I do not want anyone to ever, under any circumstance, construe that all the blame is hers.

However, let’s be honest, life would be so much easier for both of us if she’d just realize that I am right, she’s wrong — and for the sake of peace and tranquility in The Force, just do it my way.

Of course, I have picked up a strong sense that she feels this exact way by her actually voicing that she is right that I am “just like a man, and God sent me to be your wisdom and guidance because you don’t know how to take care of yourself!” (This is just about a direct quote.)

Then there are those times she actually infers that I, along with all others of my specifically born gender as a man, evidently must be a flawed first edition, because God knew that without a woman, the whole human race was doomed and, furthermore, would not have survived without a woman … or something along this sentiment.

So, I am confident that you, as I, have learned to merely nod a head as if in agreement while mumbling under breath through gritted teeth a purely uncommitted and totally unbelievable, “Yes, dear,” which means exactly nothing. While she, oozing with that biblical directive to honor me and call me “lord, as Sarah did to Abraham,” gets what she worked for. I, then, in turn, give to her because I love her, just like the Scripture says I gotta — you know — that love her stuff.

(Note: This is purely to be taken as sarcastically humorous. Debie Grimm has edited this so it has received her approval for publishing. If you lack true compassion in your marriage, please seek professional counseling. God has a better plan for you and your home. Maybe, just maybe, one of you is being a selfish jerk or just a tad overly spoiled. It would be so much more merciful for Christ to redeem you and your marriage than for you to split and then find someone else to make life miserable, says an old retired pastor.)

  Warning: These musings may be serious or may be humorous. Enjoy! H.R. Grimm is a self-described lovable, prone to blunt, witty, tending toward sarcastic, saved-by-grace, constantly thinking storyteller. Grimm, a military veteran, and his wife now call La Vernia home. Email reader@lavernianews.com.