What gets under your skin?

What gets to you?

I don’t mean something that might merely be annoying to you or something that periodically irritates.

I mean that which really gets under your skin, down where it is slowly eating away at that protective layer of your last nerve, where you know you are about to lose any self control, causing you to go totally psycho, using unflattering descriptive words.

Now, give yourself permission to allow your inner self to become totally honest with the real you. Don’t try to be so spiritually superior that you are minimizing or rationalizing, as this is a festering that you know full well is a sore spot.

You know it’s there, constantly rubbing you raw.  God knows it’s there. He has listened to you pray about it and lay claim to victory over it, but it’s there, like an elephant in your prayer closet. God and you know it’s just a matter of time before you explode and shock the whole world by letting everyone know exactly how you feel in no uncertain terms.

Well, here at La Grimm Ranchero Epic Center of Disruption within the Force, we have tentatively mastered the art of articulating explicit warnings to avoid total nuclear explosive events.  This, of course, has not come without a few nearly total annihilation mishaps, toxic leaks that to this day have left a few areas void of life where is often heard, “Don’t you dare go there!”

Alas, I personally believe we all must admit there does exist a few issues that seem to linger, and when truthfully noted, lead to unnerving moments of indescribable spiritually imperfect emotional reactions — like the reaction of hearing fingernails scraping across a chalkboard or a fork upon a dry dessert plate.

It might be like being forced to listen to the laugh of a person who sounds so much like a donkey torturously lodged in an electric fence. Maybe it’s the way a person chews with his or her mouth open, and all one can see is a cow with its cud.

It might be something as simple as being forced to look in close proximity at someone who has untrimmed nasal hair or an unwaxed upper lip coated with lipstick.

Of course, in your loving human interactions of consistent utopia and cosmic tranquility, you may have gained the ultimate personal perfection this side of heaven. If so, the missus and I would like to let you know we believe that you are boldly lying to yourself and to the rest of us, because we all know better. No one could possibly be as perfect as you claim to be.

  Warning: These musings may be serious or may be humorous. Enjoy! H.R. Grimm is a self-described lovable, prone to blunt, witty, tending toward sarcastic, saved-by-grace, constantly thinking storyteller. Grimm, a military veteran, and his wife now call La Vernia home. Email reader@lavernianews.com.